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For those of you out there on Grindr or Scruff read:

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Because everything we do in life is about our penises.

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Having a picture of your penis on your phone is the closest thing that gay men get to having a membership card in the community, which is why a group of my friends simultaneously gasped when I told them I don't partake.

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You know where the proverbial WMD is hidden, and maybe if he's Jon Hamm, you can see it hanging out down there, just doing its thing.

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Erections can sneak up on us slowly or happen pretty immediately.

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